Saturday, July 30, 2011

My 1st target for Ramadhan Kareem :)


Assalamualaikum wbt.

Ramadhan kareem is just around the corner :)
Jom kita sama2 register utk masuk ke Akademi Ramadhan!
moga bila graduate nanti menjadi hamba2 Allah yang lebih baik insyaAllah...

So, apa target pertama teman untuk Ramadhan kali ni..?
hmm...teman rasa teman nak cuba untuk menunaikan solat tepat pada waktunya..
tak nak lengah2 lagi...doakan teman berjaya ye!

teman tinggalkan mi-ke dengan cerita yg teman suka bebenor...never fails to make my eyes moisten each time i read it!...enjoy! :)

"Last Minute Solah"

He remembered his grandmother' s warning about praying on time:

'My son, you shouldn't leave prayer to this late time'.

His grandmother' s age was 70 but, whenever she heard the Adhan, she got up like an arrow and performed the Solat.

He, however could never win over his ego to get up and pray.

Whatever he did, his Solat was always the last to be offered and he prayed it quickly to get it in on time.

Thinking of this, he got up and realized that there were only 15 minutes left before Salat-ul Isha'.

He quickly made Wudhu and performed Salat-ul Maghrib.

While making Tasbih, he again remembered his grandmother and was embarrassed by how he had prayed.

His grandmother prayed with such tranquillity and peace.

He began making Dua and went down to make Sajdah and stayed like that for a while.

He had been at work all day and was tired, very tired.

He awoke abruptly to the sound of noise and shouting.

He was sweating profusely. He looked around. It was very crowded.

Every direction he looked in was filled with people.

Some stood frozen looking around, some were running left and right and some were on their knees with their heads in their hands just waiting.

Pure fear and apprehension filled him as he realized where he was. His heart was about to burst.

It was the Day of Judgment.

When he was alive, he had heard many things about the questioning on the Day of Judgment, but that seemed so long ago.

Could this be something his mind made up?

No, the wait and the fear were so great that he could not have imagined this.

The interrogation was still going on.

He began moving frantically from people to people to ask if his name had been called. No one could answer him.

All of a sudden his name was called and the crowd split into two and made a passageway for him.

Two angels grabbed his arms and led him forward. He walked with unknowing eyes through the crowd. The angels brought him to the centre and left him there.

His head was bent down and his whole life was passing in front of his eyes like a movie.

He opened his eyes but saw only another world.

The people were all helping others.

He saw his father running from one lecture to the other, spending his wealth in the way of Islam.

His mother invited guests to their house and one table was being set while the other was being cleared.

He pleaded his case, 'I too was always on this path. I helped others. I spread the word of Allah. I performed my Salah. I fasted in the month of Ramadhan.'

'Whatever Allah ordered us to do, I did.'

'Whatever he ordered us not to do, I did not.'

He began to cry and think about how much he loved Allah.

He knew that whatever he had done in life would be less than what Allah deserved and his only protector was Allah He was sweating like never before and was shaking all over.

His eyes were fixed on the scale, waiting for the final decision. At last, the decision was made.

The two angels with sheets of paper in their hands, turned to the crowd.

His legs felt like they were going to collapse. He closed his eyes as they began

To read the names of those people who were to enter Jahannam.

His name was read first.

He fell on his knees and yelled that this couldn't be,

'How could I go to Jahannam? I served others all my life, I spread the word of Allah

to others.'

His eyes had become blurry and he was shaking with sweat.

The two angels took him by the arms.

As his feet dragged, they went through the crowd and advanced toward

the blazing flames of Jahannam.

He was yelling and wondered if there was any person who was going to help him.

He was yelling of all the good deeds he had done, how he had helped his father, his fasts, prayers, the Noble Qur'an that he read, he was asking if none of them would help him.

The Jahannam angels continued to drag him.

They had gotten closer to the Hellfire.

He looked back and these were his last pleas.

Had not Rasulullah [PBUH] said, 'How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins?'

He began yelling, 'My prayers? My prayers? My prayers?'

The two angels did not stop, and they came to the edge of the abyss of Jahannam.

The flames of the fire were burning his face.

He looked back one last time, but his eyes were dry of hope and he had nothing left in him.

One of the angels pushed him in.

He found himself in the air and falling towards the flames.

He had just fallen five or six feet when a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

He lifted his head and saw an old man with a long white beard.

He wiped some dust off himself and asked him, 'Who are you?'

The old man replied, 'I am your prayers.'

'Why are you so late?! I was almost in the Fire! You rescued me at the

last minute before I fell in.'

The old man smiled and shook his head, 'You always performed me at the

last minute, did you forget?'

At that instant, he blinked and lifted his head from Sajdah. He was in a sweat. He listened to the voices coming from outside.

He heard the Adhan for Salat-ul Isha.

He got up quickly and went to perform Wudhu.

Pass this on to your friends and family......

Maybe, you can help someone open their eyes.

And who knows?

Maybe, this is a good deed that can help you during The Day of Judgment. INSHA-ALLAH

فَإِذَا قَضَيۡتُمُ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ فَٱذۡڪُرُواْ ٱللَّهَ قِيَـٰمً۬ا وَقُعُودً۬ا وَعَلَىٰ جُنُوبِڪُمۡ‌ۚ فَإِذَا ٱطۡمَأۡنَنتُمۡ فَأَقِيمُواْ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ كَانَتۡ عَلَى ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ كِتَـٰبً۬ا مَّوۡقُوتً۬ا
"When ye have performed the act of worship, remember Allah, standing, sitting and reclining. And when ye are in safety, observe proper worship. Worship at fixed times hath been enjoined on the believers."[An-Nisa':103]

Semoga kita semua memperoleh kemenangan di Ramadhan ini ye :))


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

is it your call, or mine??


Assalamualaikum wbt.

Following my previous post on 'ambiguus genitalia', im going to 'try' (even though not very successful) to answer a question posted by sister azyan azilah:

salam kak sarah. saya selalu baca cerita akak tentang kisah belakang tabir hospital ni.

dan kita tertarik nak tanya pasal khunsa ni jugak la. kita selalu dengar pasal "transgenders" yang kata, kami lelaki tapi naluri kami perempuan. ada yang cakap,dulu diorang khunsa (ada dua kelamin) tapi mak bapak diorang yg decide untuk diorang sama ada jadikan anak mereka lelaki atau perempuan. kira macam mak abah silap percaturan la. jadi mereka seolah-olah salahkan parents diorang. jadi ada yang persoalankan, golongan ambiguus genitalia patut diberikan peluang untuk membesar sebelum ditentukan jantina mana yang diorang lebih cenderung. ini untuk elakkan kes macam ni la. macam dulu pun rasanya ada cerita zaman Rasullah s.a.w yang hamba tu wanita tapi boleh tidur dengan hamba wanita yang lain. kira bagi chance diorang besar dulu la before decide jantina.

jadi rasanya apa pendapat akak dalam kes ni? maybe soalan ni mcam nonsense dari pihak medical or professional, tapi sebagai orang yang curious dan langsung tak ada pape pengalaman dalam ilmu medical ni saya nak tahu jugak la pendapat pakar. hihi

Okay azyan..this is my answer for you:

Dear azyan,

thank u so very much for the very interesting questions...and i took sometime searching for the answer as i had to look for the right people to help me with your question..Alhamdulillah, i managed to speak to Prof Harlina Siraj today and i may have some answers for u even if it's not complete...

First of all, u have to know that the issues pertaining to ambiguus genitalia have not been studied thoroughly...we have yet to sit down with all the specialists and ulama' to understand the terms and to discuss the issues that may arise in these kinds of cases...and i am definitely not the 'pakar' in this issue :) just merely sharing with u bout what i've learned these past few years..

The reason why i mentioned that we need to clarify reg the terms with the ulama' is because, in the Al-Quran, khunsa is mentioned to have both genitalia...that was what Allah said..however, we as medical practitioners (with whatever limited experience that we have) have never seen any cases like, we assume that ambiguus genitalia is one of the categories of 'khunsa' or haemophrodite...however, since we are not very sure of this..sadly to say, that i myself have never mentioned the word 'khunsa' in front of the parents and have also never discussed the repercussions involved if indeed the child is a khunsa in the islamic point of view with is my weakness definitely, and may Allah be with me..insyaAllah i will do further research on this issue in the future..

from my discussion with Prof Harlina, previously when chromosomal studies were still not available, mmg byk masalah..the parents had to just simply choose one gender and bring up the child as how they perceive the gender is supposed to be...and mmg bila kanak2 ni membesar, some of them (i do not have the percentage..sorry!) will have some inclination towards the opposite gender..thus the problems such as what u mentioned arise..

however, even with the chromosomal studies that we have nowadays, it does not guarantee that the child may remain/act according to their biological gender...there have been a few cases of ambiguus genitalia of whom the chromosome was xx, however when the child reached adolescent age, her behaviour became more masculine and she decided that she wants to become a man...we cant really blame them..because even though their chromose is xx, however they may have more androgens or testosterone hormone in their body that's influencing them to behave like a male...

so, what's the point of having the chromosomal study then?well, i guess it helps the parents to clear up their mind a bit..and helps them to raise the child according to the biological gender..we can imagine how disturbed the parents may be right?so, at least with the chromosomal analysis, it helps to guide them on how to bring up the child...HOWEVER,the child and the parents MUST be on regular follow ups..and the parents MUST be counselled and forewarned that the child may behave differently when he/she reaches adolescent age...and if the child then decides to change his/her gender, it must be taken with an open mind and further discussions must be made with the drs/ulama' etc...that is why, maybe the plastic surgery for the reconstruction of the genitalia should not be done during the early years..and maybe it should be decided by the child him/herself...(obviously, this is easier said than done considering the amount of anxiety that the parents will have to bear and please dont ask me the hukum of doing the surgical reconstruction in the first place...i have not yet consulted an ustaz to answer that..huhu)

so, to answer your question...yes, it may be fair to let these children to grow up and decide their gender for themselves as to avoid any confusions/problems in future :)

im sure u still have many questions...hehe..i do too...and im sorry that my answers contain many 'maybe' i said, many questions are still unanswered and some other drs may have other opinions rather than the ones i stated here...

i hope to do more research on this...insyaAllah, i hope to see another professor soon..if i have anything to add..i will update u ya..?

thank u again for bringing up the issues..
if anything, can email me at or meet me at facebook! :)


p/s: there's a very good article on 'gender and sexuality' by prof harlina that was published in solusi volume 25...try this link!

p/s/s: i've never heard the story reg 'khunsa' masa zaman Rasulullah SAW that sister azyan mentioned..could somebody enlighten me on this??thank you!!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

"err..anak saya ni lelaki ke perempuan, Dr..?" :(


Assalamualaikum wbt...

Pekabar en kambing...teman saja dtg melawat en kambing kerap sikit...walaupun baru je dtg haritu...ntah kenapa..melonjak2 rasa sedih kat hati ni..rasanya bila cerita insyaAllah rasa lega sikit kot...huhuhu...

Sejak sebulan yg lepas, teman buat posting neonatology...neonatology ni adalah dlm bidang kepakaran kanak2 juga..tapi spesifik untuk anak2 baru lahir sehingga umur 1 basically we deal with small babies...mostly are premature babies (bayi pra matang) or babies yg cukup bulan tapi ada penyakit yg dijangkiti sewaktu dalam rahim, atau baby yg menerima kecederaan sewaktu proses kelahiran...Semua hospital ada wad neonatal rasanya...selalunya, penuh dengan incubator (sejenis kotak yg adjustkan suhunya menjadi lebih kurang mcm suhu dlm rahim) dan penuh dengar pelbagai mesin2 yg berbunyi tenot..tenot sana sini...the atmosphere dlm wad neonatal and especially neonatal ICU ni selalunya tegang..because the babies are ill and since they cant talk, the doctors will be doing the guessing job of what the babies are trying to tell us...ala, lebih kurang kalau anak mi-ke menangih tak tentu pasal waktu malam..bagi susu tak mau, pampers tak basah, perut tak kembung...tapi melalak mcm la kena pukul...hmm stress kan??mcm tu lah yg dr2 dlm neonatal ICU ni akan rasa kalau baby tak sihat...

So, mmg sebulan yg lepas..teman tak berapa happy sgt buat posting neonatology...kesian sgt tgk baby2 yg kecik2 tu kena cucuk sana sini...wayar2 berbelit sana sini...lepastu baby2 tu punya la kecik (around 700-900 grams, gula sepeket kita beli kat kedai pun lagi berat) nak menangis pun tak larat...tapi nak buat mcmmana...kalau tak buat mcmtu, mcmmana nak, kuatkan hati...niatkan utk cuba pulihkan anak2 tu saja...

Dalam keadaan teman yg tak berapa gemarkan suasana di neonatal ICU and nak cepat2 habiskan posting tu, tetiba seminggu sebelum sempat teman ucapkan sayonara, lahirlah seorang bayi yg bergelar 'khunsa' dan dimasukkan ke dalam wad neonatal ICU tu...(ingat tak lagi cerita teman pasal khunsa/ambiguus genitalia dulu?kalau nak refresh balik memory, boleh click
di sini ) Khunsa, seperti mana yg kita faham, mempunyai 2 alat kelamin...tapi masa teman sekolah dulu, bila ustazah cakap mcmtu..teman terbayang 2 alat kelamin sebelah menyebelah...hehe...tapi setakat pengalaman teman bekerja selama ni, tak pernah lagi teman berjumpa kes mcm tu...dan teman buat kesimpulan 'ambiguus genitalia' atau 'jantina yg tidak dapat dipastikan' ini adalah dlm kategori khunsa...kalau ada yg rasa mcm teman tersilap, tolong betulkan ye...

'Ambiguus genitalia' yg baby ni ada rupanya mcm 2 dlm 1...clitorisnya besar..hampir mcm penis...tapi tiada testes...maaf, kalau ada yg tersinggung...sekadar nak beri kefahaman pada org awam tentang ambiguus genitalia...dan rupa alat kelamin dlm kategori 'ambiguus' ni bukanlah standard kpd satu rupa saja...boleh jadi berbeza2...cuma yg pasti, ia tak dapat dipastikan jantina apa pada mata kasar...

The reason baby ni masuk neonatal ICU adalah sebab kita risau ada masalah hormon yg boleh menyebabkan baby ni mengalami kekurangan garam yg teruk dan boleh membawa maut seandainya lambat, baby yg adalah masalah ambiguus genitalia ni selalunya akan dimasukkan terus ke wad neonatal ICU utk pemerhatian awal utk mengelakkan kejadian yg tidak diingini..

Jadinya, biasalah...bila ada kes2 yg pelik2 sikit mcm ni, selalunya byk org yg akan tengok kes mcm ni secara rapi sikit...tiap2 kali specialist dtg...semua akan perhatikan alat kelamin baby tu secara dekat..siap ambik torchlight suluh lagi...and tiap2 kali specialist tgh periksa baby tu, kedua2 ibu bapaknya akan berdiri dari jauh dgn muka yg amat risau menunggu apa2 report drp para Dr...and walaupun telah diterang berkali2 perkara yg sama,teman masih boleh nampak dgn jelas kerisauan dan pelbagai tanda soal di muka mereka...

Nak dijadikan cerita, ibubapa baby ni adalah pasangan Melayu yg amat muda...bapanya berumur 24 tahun, ibunya baru 21 tahun...anak sulung mereka...sewaktu antenatal/kehamilan, jantinanya tak dpt dikenalpasti melalui scan..jadi masalah ni hanya dpt dikesan selepas kelahiran...bayangkan betapa terkejutnya si ibu apabila tak tahu nak jawab apa bila staff nurse bertanyakan 'anak apa?' sejurus selepas kelahiran anak tersebut....

Menitik air mata teman bila melihat kebingungan mereka...ada sekali si bapa bertanya...

"Dr, apa yg saya nak letak dlm bahagian 'jantina' dlm surat beranak..?"

Teman telan air liur..."Takpe, encik tak payah daftar lagi..tunggu keputusan kromosom dulu..lepas tu baru encik pergi daftar..."

" ke...saya betul2 bingung ni Dr...tak tau kenapa jadi mcm ni....tak tau nak jawab apa bila org tanya...isteri saya dah off telefon...sehari suntuk org telefon ucap tahniah...tapi bila org tanya 'anak apa?'..kami tak tau nak jawab Dr...."

Teman tunduk....tak tau nak kata apa....sudah tentu khabar berita mendapat cahaya mata adalah suatu berita gembira yg dikongsi dgn family dan sahabat handai...tapi di kala kita gembira menelefon dan meng'update' status di facebook, ada yg bingung dan bercelaru sama ada mahu dikongsikan berita itu atau tidak...air mata mula bergenang...tapi teman tak mahu si bapa nampak.....teman kuatkan hati...

"mak ayah saya dah kata mcm2 kat saya...ada yg kata saya terkena tulah...orang kampung tak payah cakap la Dr, mcm2 diorg tengah cakap pasal saya dan isteri sekarang ni...ada yg kata sbb saya berdosa itu ini.....saya pun tak pasti sama ada ini ujian atau hukuman...."

"Encik bersabar byk2 ye...ini semua ujian Tuhan...yg penting, anak encik sihat...tengok baby2 yg lain...mcm2 wayar sana sini....anak encik tak perlu tube apa2 pun, dan masih boleh menyusu badan....insyaAllah, sampai masanya, selesai la masalah ni..."

teman tak mampu nak cakap panjang2..lepas teman angguk kecil dan minta diri..terus teman pegi ke bilik baby tersebut dgn tujuan nak buat routine ward round...sesampainya di bilik tu, kelihatan si ibu sedang tersenyum sambil membelai anaknya dengan manja sekali...tak ada sikit pun prejudis di wajahnya..biarlah org nak kata apa pun, anak kecil yg tidak berdosa ini telah dikandungnya selama 9 bulan...dan anak itu tetap anak yg akan dibela dan disayangi olehnya dengan sepenuh hati walau apa tohmahan yg diterima...

teman kuatkan hati dan bertanyakan si ibu dgn soalan2 routine ibu menjawab dgn senyuman manis...bagaikan bahagia melihatkan si anak kecil..sesekali berkerut dahinya bertanya status tekanan darah etc..teman jawab dgn tenang dan cepat2 meninggalkan bilik tu sebelum air mata menitik ke nota...

Itulah masyarakat kita...yg adakalanya lebih suka menghukum daripada memberi sokongan...apalah dosa anak itu...dan siapakah kita utk menghukum dan menjadi prejudis terhadap ibubapanya...???

hmm..itu la teman kata, teman tak seronok dekat neonatal ICU, basically..sekarang ni, kita tgh tunggu keputusan chromosomal analysis baby ni...chromosomal analysis ni akan bagitau kita sama ada baby ni xx atau xy....dan lepas kita tau xx atau xy, barulah si bapa boleh mendaftar surat beranak...dan bila baby dah besar sikit..barulah kita boleh refer plastic surgeon utk construct alat kelaminnya menjadi salah satu drp jantina berdasarkan keputusan chromosomal analysis tersebut...

Pada teman, ini adalah ujian Tuhan buat ibu bapa tersebut...mcm2 ujian yg Allah turunkan buat hamba2Nya..dan kita hanya mampu bersabar dan berikhtiar sebaik mungkin dlm menghadapi ujianNya..Jgn sesekali kita melabel org lain dan menghukum mereka...sebaliknya bersimpatilah..dan berilah sokongan baik dari segi apa jua yg kita mampu..

Teman doakan moga Allah berikan kekuatan buat kedua2 ibubapa tersebut..insyaAllah, masa depan akan nampak lebih cerah as time goes by...dan buat anak itu jua...moga dia juga akan faham..bahawa yg paling penting di dlm dunia ini adalah taqwa kepada Yg Maha Esa....bersyukur lah dengan apa yg kita ada...selagi mampu bernafas dan menghirup udaraNya...katakanlah...Alhamdulillah :)

p/s: kudos kepada semua Dr2 di neonatal ward yg begitu berdedikasi menjaga anak2 ini bagaikan anak2 anda sendiri....