"Listen to me,Dr..I'm telling you something!"

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Selamat hari raya en kambing n pelawat2 sekalian...En kambing raya kat mana tahun ni??oo, dlm kandang...dah abis kuih raya en kambing? teman punya ada lagi..sebijik2 teman makan lepas balik keje...rasanya boleh simpan sampai raya haji kot...hehe

Skrg ni teman tgh keje kat kecemasan...Dua bulan teman kat situ...penat betul rasanya..ye lah, mana taknya..semua kes kecemasan, asyik nak cepat je...tak boleh buat keje lambat2..dah la tu, kena perah kepala buat diagnosis cepat2...kalau tak patient makin menimbun kat kecemasan, nanti ramai yg kena tunggu lama kat kecemasan...kesian pulak...

Alkisahnya bila jadi Dr kat kecemasan ni, memandangkan kerja kena cepat dan efficient pada masa yg sama, para Drs kena cekap pilih informasi mana yg relevant, yg diberi oleh patient supaya kita boleh faham cepat apa yg berlaku pada patient..So, memang adakalanya informasi2 yg tak berapa relevent tu, teman kadang2 buat tak endah saja dan concentrate pada benda yg penting. Contohnya lah, kalau patient complain sakit dada, dan pada masa yg sama dia bagitau matanya rasa kering...sudah tentu teman akan concentrate pada simptom sakit dada, dan akan make sure ECG dibuat untuk pastikan sama ada patient tu sedang mengalami heart attack atau tidak...Simptom mata kering yg tak berapa specific tu mungkin hanya akan diteliti selepas teman dah pasti tidak ada perkara 'life threatening' yg patient tu sedang hadapi waktu tu...

Having said that, baru2 ni ada kes kecemasan kelakar yg teman nak share..Bila teman pikir2 pasal kes tu, mesti teman akan tersenyum dan menginsafkan teman agar jadi org yg lebih humble dan dengar.....betul2 dengar apa yg patient nak cuba cakap pada teman...

Hari tu ada seorang apek ini dlm limgkungan umur 70 lebih dtg ke kecemasan, dia datang jauh dari Karak, Pahang...anak2 dia bawak dia ke kl ni...sbb diorg tinggal kat sini...so senang la nak jaga bapaknya...

Kata anak2nya, apek ni tiba2 saja develop slurring of speech dengan severe giddiness sejak dari malam semalam...hmm, apabila dengar saja 'slurring of speech' tu, semestinya mana2 Dr pun akan risau pasal stroke...jadi teman pun bersungguh2 la check apek tu, suruh dia angkat tangan, angkat kaki...angkat kening, senyum...(ye, kalau org kena stoke, sebelah mulut akan senget sebelah, so kira senyum sekerat aje la)...bila dah check semua, nampak mcm apek ni kuat je...takde pun lemah separuh badan...senyum pun hensem lagi...siap cakap kat teman "ini semua gigi original tau..bukan tipu punya" hehe...okay lah uncle...lu pakai colgate ka, gigi banyak kuat...

Tapi bila bercakap memang bunyi mcm lidah ketat...Itu aja yg teman jumpa...tapi memandangkan senior teman yg mula tengok kes tu pada awalnya dah order CT scan utk tengok otak, jadi patient tu pun dihantar utk CT scan...dan spt yg dijangka kan, memang CT scan tu normal...tak nampak mcm stroke pun...so teman pun sembang balik dengan apek n anak2nya..

Kata uncle, 2 hari sebelum dia ke kecemasan..dia terseliuh tangan...jadi dia pegi ke klinik untuk terima injection....balik aje dia di rumah, tetiba dia tersedu2....lama dia tersedu2....pastu dia pegi balik ke klinik tu, klinik tu bagi ubat untuk dia...2 jam lepas makan ubat tu, tetiba lidah dia jadi ketat and dia rasa mulut kering....haus sangat...kepala mula rasa pening.tapi takde lemah separuh badan ke...kebas ke..semua takde...

Hmm...teman pun naik pening dengar cerita dia...masa teman dengar cerita apek tu, yg teman risau 2 benda...ubat apa yg klinik tu bagi...dengan pasal lidah ketat apek tu....teman masih risau kalau2 ada penyakit saraf lain yg apek tu ada...and teman tak peduli sgt pun pasal apek tu cerita yg dia tersedu2....and pasal mulut kering dia tu...

Kebetulan masa tu, anak dia ada dekat teman..kejap2 bapak dia mintak air...kejap2 air....yg terlintas kat fikiran teman masa tu, ish apek ni ada diabetes ke....apa hal asyik nak minum air je...

Yang teman lega sgt masatu, tetiba anak dia kata dia ada bawak ubat yg klinik kat Karak tu bagi kat apek tu..teman pun tengok...."Chlorpromazine" nama ubat tu...Terbeliak mata teman menengokkan ubat tu....mana taknya...ubat tu ubat utk penyakit mental Schizophrenia!! teman pun tengok balik pada anaknya....make sure yg tu ubat yg betul diberi oleh Dr di pahang tu...beriya2 anak2 kata..itulah ubat yg apek tu dpt haritu....teman pun bisik "Bapak u ada penyakit mental ka...cakap sorang2 ka..."

Anak dia pulak yg terbeliak memandang pada teman..."Haiyoo....takda la....apa pasai, itu ubat org gila ka?"

Teman tersenyum..."ya..tapi saya pun tak tau kenapa itu Dr kasi dia ini ubat...takpa, sini ada nombor telefon klinik tu, nanti saya telefon sekejap"

Teman pun telefon la klinik kat Karak tu...mcm2 benda main kat fikiran teman waktu tu....nasib baik ada Dr kat klinik waktu tu...tapi malangnya,bukan Dr yg merawat apek...Dr lain pulak yg cover...

lepas teman memperkenalkan diri, teman pun cerita psl apek tu...Dr tu pun bagitau daripada record mmg uncle tu ada datang 2 kali...sekali pasal sakit tangan...masa tu, Dr yg merawat bagi injection Voltaren (pain killer), tapi malang sekali lagi...masa apek datang utk kali kedua...Dr yg merawat tu hanya rekodkan nama ubat yg diberi je...tak ditulis pulak diagnosis atau sebab ubat tu diberikan...and memang betul ubat Chlorpromazine tu la yg diberi pada apek...

Yang peliknya, ubat tu hanya diberi utk 3 hari...pelik kan...kalau apek tu betul2 gila...dah tentu kena bagi ubat tu bertahun2....huwaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!teman nak nangis waktu tu...betul2 tak tau apa kena dgn uncle...lepas berhempas pulas teman tanya mcm2 kat Dr locum tu (Dr tu pun agaknya dah berpeluh2 menjawab soalan2 teman...kesian dia...dah la tak tau apa2 psl patient tu), teman pun was already on the virge of giving up and saying good bye...

Teman: Well, thank you very much la for helping me out here..

Dr: Sorry, for not being able to help much...But there's no documentation here of why the medication was prescribed

Teman: Yeah.....what to do, maybe I will have to call later when the other Dr is in then...haiyo....I dont know what to do la...so pening...the only thing that the patient told me was that, he had some hiccups then he went back to your clinic for the 2nd time (dengan nada putus harapan)

Dr: Wait a minute...he had hiccups??

Teman: Yeah...why?

Dr: Oh i see!!then maybe that's why la the Dr gave him Chlorpromazine!! sometimes we give short course of that medication for hiccups!!

Teman: Oh really????!!! I've never heard of it!!

So basically, teman tak pernah tau pun yg kalau tersedu ni boleh diubati dgn ubat Schizophrenia....hehe....hampeh..(yep, I still have got sooooooooooo much to learn!!) ...so, lepas thanking the Dr profusely, I put down the phone dengan rasa kemenangan yg puas! Yes, finally, I got the diagnosis!

Apek tu sebenarnya sedang mengalami side effecst of the antipsychotic drug...which is called 'extrapymidal symptoms' (boleh google ye) and simptom2 nya adalah seperti slurring of speech, dry mouth (hence the thirst and continuous drinking of water *slaps forehead*), giddiness, agitation and macam2 lagi....and to think that I was trying to just disregard the non specific symptoms that the patient was trying to tell me! MasyaAllah..thank you for saving me from committing such crime!

So, dapat je diagnosis tu (dengan rasa ala2 puas mcm dpt solve misteri dlm cerita CSI) , teman terus je bagi antidote pada ubat antipsychotic tu...and Alhamdulillah...after about half an hour...the patient dah boleh cakap dengan bunyi yg jelas....no more slurring of speech!!! ;))

It's really satisfying seeing patients improving in front of your very eyes...but of course the earlier part of looking for the root cause is a real headache la...but i guess..it's worth all the effort that you made!

Note to self and to all who inspire to become doctors :

- Never ever stop learning...you can never become 'too good'...Ilmu Allah tu luas...carilah sebanyak mana yg mungkin!

- Listen to your patients!! Listen to what they say...dont disregard something that u do not know as unimportant...coz the brain does not know what the ears cant hear/the eyes cant see!

- Never, ever be cocky...always remain humble like how you were when u were a medical student...coz that's what u'll be for the rest of ur life...a student! ;)

With that, I thank you for visiting my kandang kambing!

Wasallam.

My 1st target for Ramadhan Kareem :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Ramadhan kareem is just around the corner :)

Jom kita sama2 register utk masuk ke Akademi Ramadhan!

moga bila graduate nanti menjadi hamba2 Allah yang lebih baik insyaAllah...

So, apa target pertama teman untuk Ramadhan kali ni..?

hmm...teman rasa teman nak cuba untuk menunaikan solat tepat pada waktunya..

tak nak lengah2 lagi...doakan teman berjaya ye!

teman tinggalkan mi-ke dengan cerita yg teman suka bebenor...never fails to make my eyes moisten each time i read it!...enjoy! :)

"Last Minute Solah"

He remembered his grandmother' s warning about praying on time:

'My son, you shouldn't leave prayer to this late time'.

His grandmother' s age was 70 but, whenever she heard the Adhan, she got up like an arrow and performed the Solat.

He, however could never win over his ego to get up and pray.

Whatever he did, his Solat was always the last to be offered and he prayed it quickly to get it in on time.

Thinking of this, he got up and realized that there were only 15 minutes left before Salat-ul Isha'.

He quickly made Wudhu and performed Salat-ul Maghrib.

While making Tasbih, he again remembered his grandmother and was embarrassed by how he had prayed.

His grandmother prayed with such tranquillity and peace.

He began making Dua and went down to make Sajdah and stayed like that for a while.

He had been at work all day and was tired, very tired.

He awoke abruptly to the sound of noise and shouting.

He was sweating profusely. He looked around. It was very crowded.

Every direction he looked in was filled with people.

Some stood frozen looking around, some were running left and right and some were on their knees with their heads in their hands just waiting.

Pure fear and apprehension filled him as he realized where he was. His heart was about to burst.

It was the Day of Judgment.

When he was alive, he had heard many things about the questioning on the Day of Judgment, but that seemed so long ago.

Could this be something his mind made up?

No, the wait and the fear were so great that he could not have imagined this.

The interrogation was still going on.

He began moving frantically from people to people to ask if his name had been called. No one could answer him.

All of a sudden his name was called and the crowd split into two and made a passageway for him.

Two angels grabbed his arms and led him forward. He walked with unknowing eyes through the crowd. The angels brought him to the centre and left him there.

His head was bent down and his whole life was passing in front of his eyes like a movie.

He opened his eyes but saw only another world.

The people were all helping others.

He saw his father running from one lecture to the other, spending his wealth in the way of Islam.

His mother invited guests to their house and one table was being set while the other was being cleared.

He pleaded his case, 'I too was always on this path. I helped others. I spread the word of Allah. I performed my Salah. I fasted in the month of Ramadhan.'

'Whatever Allah ordered us to do, I did.'

'Whatever he ordered us not to do, I did not.'

He began to cry and think about how much he loved Allah.

He knew that whatever he had done in life would be less than what Allah deserved and his only protector was Allah He was sweating like never before and was shaking all over.

His eyes were fixed on the scale, waiting for the final decision. At last, the decision was made.

The two angels with sheets of paper in their hands, turned to the crowd.

His legs felt like they were going to collapse. He closed his eyes as they began

To read the names of those people who were to enter Jahannam.

His name was read first.

He fell on his knees and yelled that this couldn't be,

'How could I go to Jahannam? I served others all my life, I spread the word of Allah

to others.'

His eyes had become blurry and he was shaking with sweat.

The two angels took him by the arms.

As his feet dragged, they went through the crowd and advanced toward

the blazing flames of Jahannam.

He was yelling and wondered if there was any person who was going to help him.

He was yelling of all the good deeds he had done, how he had helped his father, his fasts, prayers, the Noble Qur'an that he read, he was asking if none of them would help him.

The Jahannam angels continued to drag him.

They had gotten closer to the Hellfire.

He looked back and these were his last pleas.

Had not Rasulullah [PBUH] said, 'How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins?'

He began yelling, 'My prayers? My prayers? My prayers?'

The two angels did not stop, and they came to the edge of the abyss of Jahannam.

The flames of the fire were burning his face.

He looked back one last time, but his eyes were dry of hope and he had nothing left in him.

One of the angels pushed him in.

He found himself in the air and falling towards the flames.

He had just fallen five or six feet when a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

He lifted his head and saw an old man with a long white beard.

He wiped some dust off himself and asked him, 'Who are you?'

The old man replied, 'I am your prayers.'

'Why are you so late?! I was almost in the Fire! You rescued me at the

last minute before I fell in.'

The old man smiled and shook his head, 'You always performed me at the

last minute, did you forget?'

At that instant, he blinked and lifted his head from Sajdah. He was in a sweat. He listened to the voices coming from outside.

He heard the Adhan for Salat-ul Isha.

He got up quickly and went to perform Wudhu.

Pass this on to your friends and family......

Maybe, you can help someone open their eyes.

And who knows?

Maybe, this is a good deed that can help you during The Day of Judgment. INSHA-ALLAH

فَإِذَا قَضَيۡتُمُ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ فَٱذۡڪُرُواْ ٱللَّهَ قِيَـٰمً۬ا وَقُعُودً۬ا وَعَلَىٰ جُنُوبِڪُمۡ‌ۚ فَإِذَا ٱطۡمَأۡنَنتُمۡ فَأَقِيمُواْ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ كَانَتۡ عَلَى ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ كِتَـٰبً۬ا مَّوۡقُوتً۬ا
"When ye have performed the act of worship, remember Allah, standing, sitting and reclining. And when ye are in safety, observe proper worship. Worship at fixed times hath been enjoined on the believers."[An-Nisa':103]

Semoga kita semua memperoleh kemenangan di Ramadhan ini ye :))

Wasallam.

is it your call, or mine??

Bimillahirrahmanirrahim..

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Following my previous post on 'ambiguus genitalia'...today, im going to 'try' (even though not very successful) to answer a question posted by sister azyan azilah:

salam kak sarah. saya selalu baca cerita akak tentang kisah belakang tabir hospital ni.

dan kita tertarik nak tanya pasal khunsa ni jugak la. kita selalu dengar pasal "transgenders" yang kata, kami lelaki tapi naluri kami perempuan. ada yang cakap,dulu diorang khunsa (ada dua kelamin) tapi mak bapak diorang yg decide untuk diorang sama ada jadikan anak mereka lelaki atau perempuan. kira macam mak abah silap percaturan la. jadi mereka seolah-olah salahkan parents diorang. jadi ada yang persoalankan, golongan ambiguus genitalia patut diberikan peluang untuk membesar sebelum ditentukan jantina mana yang diorang lebih cenderung. ini untuk elakkan kes macam ni la. macam dulu pun rasanya ada cerita zaman Rasullah s.a.w yang hamba tu wanita tapi boleh tidur dengan hamba wanita yang lain. kira bagi chance diorang besar dulu la before decide jantina.

jadi rasanya apa pendapat akak dalam kes ni? maybe soalan ni mcam nonsense dari pihak medical or professional, tapi sebagai orang yang curious dan langsung tak ada pape pengalaman dalam ilmu medical ni saya nak tahu jugak la pendapat pakar. hihi

Okay azyan..this is my answer for you:

Dear azyan,

thank u so very much for the very interesting questions...and i took sometime searching for the answer as i had to look for the right people to help me with your question..Alhamdulillah, i managed to speak to Prof Harlina Siraj today and i may have some answers for u even if it's not complete...

First of all, u have to know that the issues pertaining to ambiguus genitalia have not been studied thoroughly...we have yet to sit down with all the specialists and ulama' to understand the terms and to discuss the issues that may arise in these kinds of cases...and i am definitely not the 'pakar' in this issue :) just merely sharing with u bout what i've learned these past few years..

The reason why i mentioned that we need to clarify reg the terms with the ulama' is because, in the Al-Quran, khunsa is mentioned to have both genitalia...that was what Allah said..however, we as medical practitioners (with whatever limited experience that we have) have never seen any cases like that..so, we assume that ambiguus genitalia is one of the categories of 'khunsa' or haemophrodite...however, since we are not very sure of this..sadly to say, that i myself have never mentioned the word 'khunsa' in front of the parents and have also never discussed the repercussions involved if indeed the child is a khunsa in the islamic point of view with them...it is my weakness definitely, and may Allah be with me..insyaAllah i will do further research on this issue in the future..

from my discussion with Prof Harlina, previously when chromosomal studies were still not available, mmg byk masalah..the parents had to just simply choose one gender and bring up the child as how they perceive the gender is supposed to be...and mmg bila kanak2 ni membesar, some of them (i do not have the percentage..sorry!) will have some inclination towards the opposite gender..thus the problems such as what u mentioned arise..

however, even with the chromosomal studies that we have nowadays, it does not guarantee that the child may remain/act according to their biological gender...there have been a few cases of ambiguus genitalia of whom the chromosome was xx, however when the child reached adolescent age, her behaviour became more masculine and she decided that she wants to become a man...we cant really blame them..because even though their chromose is xx, however they may have more androgens or testosterone hormone in their body that's influencing them to behave like a male...

so, what's the point of having the chromosomal study then?well, i guess it helps the parents to clear up their mind a bit..and helps them to raise the child according to the biological gender..we can imagine how disturbed the parents may be right?so, at least with the chromosomal analysis, it helps to guide them on how to bring up the child...HOWEVER,the child and the parents MUST be on regular follow ups..and the parents MUST be counselled and forewarned that the child may behave differently when he/she reaches adolescent age...and if the child then decides to change his/her gender, it must be taken with an open mind and further discussions must be made with the drs/ulama' etc...that is why, maybe the plastic surgery for the reconstruction of the genitalia should not be done during the early years..and maybe it should be decided by the child him/herself...(obviously, this is easier said than done considering the amount of anxiety that the parents will have to bear and please dont ask me the hukum of doing the surgical reconstruction in the first place...i have not yet consulted an ustaz to answer that..huhu)

so, to answer your question...yes, it may be fair to let these children to grow up and decide their gender for themselves as to avoid any confusions/problems in future :)

im sure u still have many questions...hehe..i do too...and im sorry that my answers contain many 'maybe's...as i said, many questions are still unanswered and some other drs may have other opinions rather than the ones i stated here...

i hope to do more research on this...insyaAllah, i hope to see another professor soon..if i have anything to add..i will update u ya..?

thank u again for bringing up the issues..

if anything, can email me at sarahsofian@hotmail.com or meet me at facebook! :)

wasallam.

p/s: there's a very good article on 'gender and sexuality' by prof harlina that was published in solusi volume 25...try this link!

p/s/s: i've never heard the story reg 'khunsa' masa zaman Rasulullah SAW that sister azyan mentioned..could somebody enlighten me on this??thank you!!

"err..anak saya ni lelaki ke perempuan, Dr..?" :(

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Pekabar en kambing...teman saja dtg melawat en kambing kerap sikit...walaupun baru je dtg haritu...ntah kenapa..melonjak2 rasa sedih kat hati ni..rasanya bila cerita insyaAllah rasa lega sikit kot...huhuhu...

Sejak sebulan yg lepas, teman buat posting neonatology...neonatology ni adalah dlm bidang kepakaran kanak2 juga..tapi spesifik untuk anak2 baru lahir sehingga umur 1 bulan...so basically we deal with small babies...mostly are premature babies (bayi pra matang) or babies yg cukup bulan tapi ada penyakit yg dijangkiti sewaktu dalam rahim, atau baby yg menerima kecederaan sewaktu proses kelahiran...Semua hospital ada wad neonatal rasanya...selalunya, penuh dengan incubator (sejenis kotak yg adjustkan suhunya menjadi lebih kurang mcm suhu dlm rahim) dan penuh dengar pelbagai mesin2 yg berbunyi tenot..tenot sana sini...the atmosphere dlm wad neonatal and especially neonatal ICU ni selalunya tegang..because the babies are ill and since they cant talk, the doctors will be doing the guessing job of what the babies are trying to tell us...ala, lebih kurang kalau anak mi-ke menangih tak tentu pasal waktu malam..bagi susu tak mau, pampers tak basah, perut tak kembung...tapi melalak mcm la kena pukul...hmm stress kan??mcm tu lah yg dr2 dlm neonatal ICU ni akan rasa kalau baby tak sihat...

So, mmg sebulan yg lepas..teman tak berapa happy sgt buat posting neonatology...kesian sgt tgk baby2 yg kecik2 tu kena cucuk sana sini...wayar2 berbelit sana sini...lepastu baby2 tu punya la kecik (around 700-900 grams, gula sepeket kita beli kat kedai pun lagi berat) nak menangis pun tak larat...tapi nak buat mcmmana...kalau tak buat mcmtu, mcmmana nak baik..so, kuatkan hati...niatkan utk cuba pulihkan anak2 tu saja...

Dalam keadaan teman yg tak berapa gemarkan suasana di neonatal ICU and nak cepat2 habiskan posting tu, tetiba seminggu sebelum sempat teman ucapkan sayonara, lahirlah seorang bayi yg bergelar 'khunsa' dan dimasukkan ke dalam wad neonatal ICU tu...(ingat tak lagi cerita teman pasal khunsa/ambiguus genitalia dulu?kalau nak refresh balik memory, boleh click

di sini ) Khunsa, seperti mana yg kita faham, mempunyai 2 alat kelamin...tapi masa teman sekolah dulu, bila ustazah cakap mcmtu..teman terbayang 2 alat kelamin sebelah menyebelah...hehe...tapi setakat pengalaman teman bekerja selama ni, tak pernah lagi teman berjumpa kes mcm tu...dan teman buat kesimpulan 'ambiguus genitalia' atau 'jantina yg tidak dapat dipastikan' ini adalah dlm kategori khunsa...kalau ada yg rasa mcm teman tersilap, tolong betulkan ye...

'Ambiguus genitalia' yg baby ni ada rupanya mcm 2 dlm 1...clitorisnya besar..hampir mcm penis...tapi tiada testes...maaf, kalau ada yg tersinggung...sekadar nak beri kefahaman pada org awam tentang ambiguus genitalia...dan rupa alat kelamin dlm kategori 'ambiguus' ni bukanlah standard kpd satu rupa saja...boleh jadi berbeza2...cuma yg pasti, ia tak dapat dipastikan jantina apa pada mata kasar...

The reason baby ni masuk neonatal ICU adalah sebab kita risau ada masalah hormon yg boleh menyebabkan baby ni mengalami kekurangan garam yg teruk dan boleh membawa maut seandainya lambat dirawat..so, baby yg adalah masalah ambiguus genitalia ni selalunya akan dimasukkan terus ke wad neonatal ICU utk pemerhatian awal utk mengelakkan kejadian yg tidak diingini..

Jadinya, biasalah...bila ada kes2 yg pelik2 sikit mcm ni, selalunya byk org yg akan tengok kes mcm ni secara rapi sikit...tiap2 kali specialist dtg...semua akan perhatikan alat kelamin baby tu secara dekat..siap ambik torchlight suluh lagi...and tiap2 kali specialist tgh periksa baby tu, kedua2 ibu bapaknya akan berdiri dari jauh dgn muka yg amat risau menunggu apa2 report drp para Dr...and walaupun telah diterang berkali2 perkara yg sama,teman masih boleh nampak dgn jelas kerisauan dan pelbagai tanda soal di muka mereka...

Nak dijadikan cerita, ibubapa baby ni adalah pasangan Melayu yg amat muda...bapanya berumur 24 tahun, ibunya baru 21 tahun...anak sulung mereka...sewaktu antenatal/kehamilan, jantinanya tak dpt dikenalpasti melalui scan..jadi masalah ni hanya dpt dikesan selepas kelahiran...bayangkan betapa terkejutnya si ibu apabila tak tahu nak jawab apa bila staff nurse bertanyakan 'anak apa?' sejurus selepas kelahiran anak tersebut....

Menitik air mata teman bila melihat kebingungan mereka...ada sekali si bapa bertanya...

"Dr, apa yg saya nak letak dlm bahagian 'jantina' dlm surat beranak..?"

Teman telan air liur..."Takpe, encik tak payah daftar lagi..tunggu keputusan kromosom dulu..lepas tu baru encik pergi daftar..."

"Oh...ye ke...saya betul2 bingung ni Dr...tak tau kenapa jadi mcm ni....tak tau nak jawab apa bila org tanya...isteri saya dah off telefon...sehari suntuk org telefon ucap tahniah...tapi bila org tanya 'anak apa?'..kami tak tau nak jawab Dr...."

Teman tunduk....tak tau nak kata apa....sudah tentu khabar berita mendapat cahaya mata adalah suatu berita gembira yg dikongsi dgn family dan sahabat handai...tapi di kala kita gembira menelefon dan meng'update' status di facebook, ada yg bingung dan bercelaru sama ada mahu dikongsikan berita itu atau tidak...air mata mula bergenang...tapi teman tak mahu si bapa nampak.....teman kuatkan hati...

"mak ayah saya dah kata mcm2 kat saya...ada yg kata saya terkena tulah...orang kampung tak payah cakap la Dr, mcm2 diorg tengah cakap pasal saya dan isteri sekarang ni...ada yg kata sbb saya berdosa itu ini.....saya pun tak pasti sama ada ini ujian atau hukuman...."

"Encik bersabar byk2 ye...ini semua ujian Tuhan...yg penting, anak encik sihat...tengok baby2 yg lain...mcm2 wayar sana sini....anak encik tak perlu tube apa2 pun, dan masih boleh menyusu badan....insyaAllah, sampai masanya, selesai la masalah ni..."

teman tak mampu nak cakap panjang2..lepas teman angguk kecil dan minta diri..terus teman pegi ke bilik baby tersebut dgn tujuan nak buat routine ward round...sesampainya di bilik tu, kelihatan si ibu sedang tersenyum sambil membelai anaknya dengan manja sekali...tak ada sikit pun prejudis di wajahnya..biarlah org nak kata apa pun, anak kecil yg tidak berdosa ini telah dikandungnya selama 9 bulan...dan anak itu tetap anak yg akan dibela dan disayangi olehnya dengan sepenuh hati walau apa tohmahan yg diterima...

teman kuatkan hati dan bertanyakan si ibu dgn soalan2 routine harian...si ibu menjawab dgn senyuman manis...bagaikan bahagia melihatkan si anak kecil..sesekali berkerut dahinya bertanya status tekanan darah etc..teman jawab dgn tenang dan cepat2 meninggalkan bilik tu sebelum air mata menitik ke nota...

Itulah masyarakat kita...yg adakalanya lebih suka menghukum daripada memberi sokongan...apalah dosa anak itu...dan siapakah kita utk menghukum dan menjadi prejudis terhadap ibubapanya...???

hmm..itu la teman kata, teman tak seronok dekat neonatal ICU ni....so, basically..sekarang ni, kita tgh tunggu keputusan chromosomal analysis baby ni...chromosomal analysis ni akan bagitau kita sama ada baby ni xx atau xy....dan lepas kita tau xx atau xy, barulah si bapa boleh mendaftar surat beranak...dan bila baby dah besar sikit..barulah kita boleh refer plastic surgeon utk construct alat kelaminnya menjadi salah satu drp jantina berdasarkan keputusan chromosomal analysis tersebut...

Pada teman, ini adalah ujian Tuhan buat ibu bapa tersebut...mcm2 ujian yg Allah turunkan buat hamba2Nya..dan kita hanya mampu bersabar dan berikhtiar sebaik mungkin dlm menghadapi ujianNya..Jgn sesekali kita melabel org lain dan menghukum mereka...sebaliknya bersimpatilah..dan berilah sokongan baik dari segi apa jua yg kita mampu..

Teman doakan moga Allah berikan kekuatan buat kedua2 ibubapa tersebut..insyaAllah, masa depan akan nampak lebih cerah as time goes by...dan buat anak itu jua...moga dia juga akan faham..bahawa yg paling penting di dlm dunia ini adalah taqwa kepada Yg Maha Esa....bersyukur lah dengan apa yg kita ada...selagi mampu bernafas dan menghirup udaraNya...katakanlah...Alhamdulillah :)

p/s: kudos kepada semua Dr2 di neonatal ward yg begitu berdedikasi menjaga anak2 ini bagaikan anak2 anda sendiri....

Wasallam.

why is there a piece of cloth on my head?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wbt...

wahh...en kambing, baru sempat menjenguk kambing ni ha...tapi kali ni idak le lama sgt teman biarkan en kambing sorang2 kan...okay la tu...penat teman skrg ni tgh jaga baby2 kecik dkt wad NICU (neonatal ICU)...kesian sgt deme..ada yg berat 800g...900g...keciiiiiiikkk sgt....hebat betul kuasa Tuhan...baby kecik mcm tu pun, mcm2 organ kompleks dlm tubuh badan mereka...walaupun badan sekecil tapak tangan kita, tapi bila disuakan susu, pandai menghisap...Subhanallah....

Okay, hari ni teman nak tanya satu soalan buat pelawat2 en kambing yg bergelar muslimah...

Soalan teman ialah: kenapa anda menutup aurat...?

Adakah :

a) kerana mengikut suruhan Allah SWT (jawapan standard mcm dlm kertas pendidikan agama SPM dulu..tapi ramaikah yg betul2 mempercayainya...??)

b) kerana nak jaga diri drp pandangan lelaki...supaya golongan lelaki tidak mudah tergoda apabila melihat kita...

c) sebab ayah suruh..hehehe....

d) sebab org lain suruh...boyfriend, sekolah, ustazah etc....

terus- terang teman cakap...suatu masa dahulu, kalau ditanya pada teman soalan ni...teman akan jawab a dan b kedua-nya.....ada tak yg seangkatan dengan teman??...angkat tangan!!....okay,buat2 menggeliat...pastu turun tangan, nanti org ingat wayar putus plak angkat tangan lama2....

in fact, teman rasa mungkin ramai yg jugak berfikiran mcm tu...sbb byk kali teman dengar org bercakap pasal aurat dan pada masa yg sama mengaitkan isu aurat kaum hawa dgn kaum adam...yg kononnya menjadi 'tugas' kaum hawa utk 'tolong' menjaga iman kaum adam...

teman dtg drp background sekolah agama...dan mentality sekolah agama ni lain sikit...jgn salah anggap, teman amat sayangkan sekolah teman..i am who i am today because of what my school and teachers taught me...in fact, beberapa org sahabat2 teman hari ni adalah sahabat2 yg teman harapkan agar dapat menumpang syafaat mereka utk masuk ke syurga kelak...tapi biasalah budak2 di zaman sekolah dulu...kurang matang...ada yg taksub dgn perkara2 yg tak wajar digembar gembur pun..yg bila dah habis sekolah, takde siapa yg sebut pun...hehe...contohnya, pasal 'status' wanita di mata Islam..kalau di sekolah teman dulu, teman selalu rasa didiskriminasikan...rasa mcm jantina kelas kedua...sejak masuk sekolah agama (daripada sekolah convent..paham2 aje le)...teman rasa susah nak menyuarakan pendapat teman...nak perform di hadapan pentas jauh sekali...bila masuk pasukan debat sekolah, lagi budak lelaki benci...segala perlakuan sampai cara jalan pun (ehem...ehem...ehem) dikritikkan....semua yg org perempuan buat...semuanya salah...semua dikaitkan dgn isu aurat atau pernyataan "Ar-rijalu qawwamun a'nin nisaa'...(lelaki lebih kuat atau superior daripada perempuan)...dont get me wrong...pernyataan itu betul! sebab itu lelaki ketua keluarga...sebab itu lelaki imam dalam solat...dan sbb itu junjungan besar kita Nabi Muhammad SAW adalah seorang lelaki dan tidak ada seorang nabi pun adalah di kalangan perempuan....namun, seorang perempuan itu ada nilai harganya disisi Islam...malah tempatnya begitu tinggi hinggakan ia ditatang bagaikan sebuah permata yg amat berharga agar terpelihara kesuciannya...

tapi apa yg teman hendak perkatakan di sini, oleh sebab teman sentiasa disogokkan dengan mentality2 yg meletakkan wanita sebagai jantina kelas kedua ini, menyebabkan teman juga mula mempercayai yg kaum hawa ini perlu menjaga aurat utk 'membantu' kaum adam menjaga iman mereka....

pernah teman dengar ayat ni daripada kaum adam "Itulah dia, pakai seksi sangat, dedah sana...dedah sini....bila kena rogol, marah pulak...."

and mind you, this sort of statement..bukannya teman pernah dengar daripada mulut2 kawan2 teman saja...but in fact, it's everywhere...dalam ceramah2 di surau...di media2 cetak dan massa...selalu teman mendengar pernyataan2 yg berbaur sebegini...yg mana membuatkan teman terpengaruh dan bersetuju dengan pernyataan di atas dan menguatkan lagi 'azam' teman untuk 'membantu' golongan adam yg lemah iman ini dengan menutup aurat...

tapi, ingat tak lagi kisah bagaimana seorang perempuan bertudung yg telah dirogol di dalam bas oleh pemandu bas tersebut...kira2 dalam 5-6 tahun lepas???kalau tak silap perempuan tu seorang cendekiawan jugak...seorang peguam kalau tak salah teman...teman ingat lagi, waktu kes tu berlaku..seorang kawan teman yg bukan islam telah bertanya kpd teman "So how now sarah, covering your body and your head also does not seem to prevent you from getting raped does it????"

teman terdiam waktu tu, betul jugak ye...cumanya waktu tu, the last defense that i had was to retort "well, u see...if the driver had a choice between a sexy lady in a mini skirt and a lady with a tudung, which one do u think he would have gone for first???"

Alhamdulillah...I thanked Allah for that spur of inspiration but then again, it showed that even though u're covered from head to toe, if a guy decides to rape u..he would still most probably will....so, what's all this about us (women) trying to help them taking care of their iman by covering ourselves??doesnt make sense, right?

so, where is the loophole, then....??

Here it is....it's because of this ayat...which has not been uttered enough in our society...

an ayat..which is far more significant then the one after it....for that was the only reason why it came first...

"Katakanlah kepada lelaki yang beriman, agar mereka menjaga pandangannya, dan memelihara kemaluannya; yg demikian itu lebih suci bagi mereka. Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang mereka perbuat" (ayat 30, Surah An-Nur)

selepas itu, barulah turun ayat ini..yg teman pasti kome semua pernah dengor sbb selalu diulang2 di masjid2 dan ditampal di poster2...

Dan katakanlah kpd para perempuan yg beriman, agar mereka menjaga pandangannya, dan memelihara kemaluannya, dan janganlah menampakkan perhiasannya (auratnya), kecuali yang (biasa) terlihat. Dan hendaklah mereka menutup kain tudung ke dadanya, dan janganlah menampakkan perhiasannya (auratnya), kecuali kpd suami mereka, atau ayah mereka, atau putera2 mereka, atau putera2 suami mereka, atau saudara2 lelaki mereka, atau putera2 saudara lelaki mereka, atau putera2 saudara perempuan mereka, atau para perempuan (sesama Islam) mereka, atau hamba sahaya yang mereka miliki, atau para pelayan lelaki (tua) yg tidka mempunyai keinginan (terhadap perempuan) atau anak2 yg belum mengerti tentang aurat perempuan. Dan janganlah mereka menghentakkan kakinya agar diketahui perhiasan yang mereka sembunyikan. Dan bertaubatlah kamu semua kepada Allah, wahai org2 beriman, agar kamu beruntung. (ayat 31, Surah An-Nur)

So, I guess it works both ways kan??Kaum adam perlu menjaga mata...kita tak akan mampu nak menyekat maksiat seandaiknya org perempuan saja yg bertudung berlitup rapinya...kedua2 pihak perlu menjaga...and ayat ke-30 surah An-Nur ini perlu disebarkan dan ditekankan dengan hebatnya lagi supaya kaum adam faham the significance of the ayat...and there's no such thing as terpandang kali pertama rezeki so boleh tenung lama-lama ye...hehe...alihkan lah pandangan anda sebelum diberi dos pelali oleh makhluk yg bernama syaitan itu....

And buat my sisters, kaum hawa...bila kita menutup aurat...bukan lah untuk 'membantu' kaum adam menjaga iman mereka....kita menutup aurat...kerana kita akur dengan suruhan Allah SWT...itu sahaja...perbaiki niat kita...peringatan ni terutamanya buat teman sendiri yg dah tersalah anggap selama ni...we should not look at ourselves as sex objects who are trying to cover ourselves from the itchy eyes of men (hehe)..we are dignified muslimah, who are trying our level best to please Allah, and Allah only...orang lelaki insyaAllah, pandai lah mereka menjaga iman mereka sendiri...

Dan kita sebagai kaum hawa di akhir zaman ini...bukanlah 2nd class gender...kita sekadar mempunyai peranan yg berbeza di dunia...maybe part of our peranan adalah untuk membantu suami kita, dan membesarkan anak2 kita...but we still report directly to The One and Only...and that surely shows that we are as close to Him as anyone else! :)

Wasallam.

p/s: credits to Sri Munawwarah Design and Prof Dr. Harlina Siraj for the most enlighthening talk on 'Aurat and Hijab'! <3 <3

KL...oh KL...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Apa khabar en kambing...sihat ke...amacam duduk kat kampung tu?ada baik??teman tak berapa sihat ni...asyik batuk aje...teman rindu sgt nak balik kampung..boleh jumpa en kambing....hehe....hah?apa??en kambing nak duduk dgn teman dkt kolumpo ni???eh...tak boleh, nanti kita dilabel bersekedudukan pulak...karang jenuh teman nak tutup hidung sepanjang masa plak...hehe...jgn marah ye encik kambing...

Hari ni teman nak bercerita hal2 org kelumpo ni...

Alkisahnya, baru2 ni teman pegi ke kl sentral..niat di hati, nak beli tiket keretapi nak balik jumpa buah hati hujung minggu ni insyaAllah :) (oh, berbunga-bunga hatiku..hehe) memang teman tau, parking dekat kl sentral memang mahal...kalau tak salah teman, dlm RM4 sejam...hmm, sejam parking dah boleh kenyang makan tengahari kan...tu la dia harga parking di kl sentral...

Jadiknya, turun2 je teman daripada kereta, terus teman berjalan pakai turbo menghala ke tempat jual tiket...sementara nak ambik nombor....tgk jadual etc, ada la dlm setengah jam teman kat situ...

Dapat je tiket, terus teman on on balik v power, terus berjalan ke mesin bayar parking tu...dlm hati berdebar le jugak...takut2 terlebih sejam teman kat situ...(hehe...sebenarnya ada la jugak cuci mata sikit2 bila ternampak baju2 and kasut2 dkt kl sentral tu..ehem...tapi kejaaaaaap je) dlm hati teman, kalau terlebih 5 min pun, dah RM8 tu...kenyang sehari dah tu kalau nak ikut kan....dup dup....

Sesampainya teman dkt mesin tu....ternampak, 1 family cina tgh bayar....belakang family cina tu ada sepasang suami isteri melayu...lepastu baru teman punya turn...

Mula2 teman tak perasan, tapi tetiba teman terdengar isteri couple melayu tu bisik kat suami dia "Eh..mahalnya bang...mcmmana ni...."

Bila dengar je camtu, terus teman intai harga parking yg family cina tu kena bayar....teman nampak nombor 4....tapi apa hal berhelai2 duit kertas ditelan mesin tu, tapi cukup2 lagi????rupa2nya........RM40!!!! Ya Allah, mak datuk!!!!parking ke apa ni???!!....menggaru2 kepala uncle cina tu mengeluarkan duitnya...kejap ditoleh kat bini dia...kejap adiknya pulak mengkorek dompetnya...merata2 ahli keluarganya tolong hulurkan duit....masing2 muka masam and konpius je nak bayar parking kereta tu...yg riang ria masa tu siapa tau??cuba teka??

Hehe...yg seronok masa tu cuma anak2 kecik family cina tu aje...beriang ria mintak duit daripada mak ayahnya nak tolong masukkan dalam mesin tu....

Teman mengalihkan pandangan kepada couple melayu kat depan teman ni pulak...nampak mcm org awam biasa..mcm kita2 jugak...mungkin tua sikit drp teman...isteri dan suami dua2 sedang mendukung anak2 mereka yg sedang tidur..pakaian anak2nya kelihatan lusuh..mcm dah pakai dan dibasuh berulang kali...kelihatan peluh menitik daripada leher si suami...ntah apa yg difikirkannya pada waktu tu...si isteri makin gelisah...tak duduk diam...bergerak sana sini...kejap2 ditolehnya pada suaminya...tapi agaknya sbb si suami taknak merisaukan isterinya, dia cuma tgk straight je pada mesin tu...

Entah kenapa, teman tersentuh melihat situasi yg berada di depan teman waktu tu...tetiba bergenang pulak mata teman, mcmmana kalau harga parking mereka sampai RM80 or Rm100??adakah teman nak offer bantuan??pelikkah kalau teman tetiba nak tolong sikit???apakah mereka akan tersinggung???

Dalam susana tegang mcmtu, tetiba famly cina tu pun beredar setelah mesin itu melahap sbyk RM40 duit mereka...tibalah giliran pasangan melayu tu...tangan si suami menggeletar memasukkan tiket ke dalam mesin..........

Teman menarik nafas........

RM 24

Hembus nafas....mujur tak banyak sangat...tapi BANYAK LA JUGAK KAN????SEMATA2 UNTUK PARKING!!!

suami tak berkata apa2..senyap je..perlahan2 si suami masukkan duit sehelai demi sehelai ke dalam mesin pelahap tu...ntah apa yg difikirkannya....agaknya dgn bayaran parking tu boleh menampung kos susu anak untuk sebulan??

teman buat2 tanya pada si isteri...."berapa sebenarnya sejam ni kak?"

"empat ringgit...mahal betul...kami tadi bawa anak2 jalan2 naik keretapi pegi seremban...dah lama diorg mintak nak naik keretapi...tak sangka pula parking kat sini mahal betul...."

isteri menggelengkan kepalanya....masing2 senyap je..and bila dah habis bayar, si isteri sempat memberi senyuman kecil pada teman sblm beredar....

Itulah senario hari2 org2 di kuala lumpur sebenarnya...mungkin ada 5% komuniti kuala lumpur yg berkemampuan tinggi..tapi rata2nya hanya merupakan golongan sederhana yg sedar atau tidak, sebenarnya tersempit dlm kos sara hidup yg tinggi....

Bayangkan, tol merata2...satu tol RM1-2....ada yg kadang2 kena lalu sampai 4-5 tol nak pegi ke tempat kerja...so, apa macam??kalau tak bayar kena lalu jalan jauh, atau jam...so...mau tak mau...bayar....bayar...bayar.....tu belum masuk cerita petrol lagi ye...LRT pun dah naik harga sekarang ni compared to before...

Percaya tak kalau teman cakap yg kita di malaysia ni sebenarnya hidup dgn cara melebihi kemampuan kita...?percaya tak kalau teman cakap kita sebenarnya tak mampu nak hidup dgn cara yg kita hidup skrg....mcm beli rumah...kereta...etc....

Sbb, secara asasnya, kita patut beli sesuatu tu kalau kita ada duit yg secukupnya...setuju??

Contoh, kita nak beli pen harga RM2....kita perlu RM2, betul?

So, kalau kita takde duit RM2, mcmmana??kita kena la beli pen seringgit....tapi apakah pen seringgit tu pen idaman kita???apakah pen seringgit tu cukup untuk menampung segala keperluan dakwat kita?

Kalau tak cukup, mcmmana....ohh senang saja...inilah dia idea kapitalis barat yg telah berjaya mengenalkan sistem pinjaman kita supaya kita semua rasa mcm tak dapat lari drp menggunakannya..walaupun pada hakikatnya kita sebenarnya TIDAK MAMPU untuk memiliki pen RM2 itu....

dan, alang2 nak bagi kita pinjam duit, buat apa diorg bagi pinjaman sebanyak RM2 saja....diorg naikkan pula harga pen tu...jadi RM10....jadi, kita pun pinjam la RM10......

sedih kan???teman rasa sedih sgt....and kesian melihatkan org2 di kl ni sebenarnya...nak beli rumah, mahal...nak beli tanah, mahal...tapi kalau takde rumah..mcmmana...??mcmmana nak jaga anak2...susu mahal, pampers mahal...semua mahal....tu yg ramai warga kota yg duduk dkt kawasan flat....well, flats are different than condos okay....teman tau, sbb teman pun duduk flat skrg...kena byk toleransi, kena byk sabar dgn karenah org2 yg duduk dlm bangunan yg sama dgn kita...kalau dapat komuniti yg bersih bertamadun, takpe...kalau dapat yg pengotor???yg langsung tak kisah apa yg org fikir psl mereka????berasap jugak la kita kan...tu belum masuk isu upringing anak2 lagi tu...

And even these flats in kl are not cheap okay???Jadi, apa nak buat...?ambil pinjaman beratus2 ribu...bayar faedah double dgn harga tanah sebenar....nampak mcm jalan penyelesaian mudah..tapi sebenarnya mereka terus dihimpit...dihimpit...dan dihimpit lagi.....

teman tak nak mula ckp pasal kerajaan, politik etc..takde makna buat teman...

pada teman, kita semua kena berusaha sendiri utk memajukan diri dan keluar daripada kesempitan hidup ni...kita kena kreatif,kita perlu inovatif dan ada semangat daya saing utk menyara diri dan keluarga...buat lah apa saja yg boleh, selagi halal dan jalan ke rezeki itu merupakan jalan yg diredhai Allah, let's do something for our family, race and religion!

Pada sumi san, i tak sabar nak balik kulim, tempat where u can still get kuih seposen sebijik!!! :)

Tu aje cerita teman pada hari ni...pikir2 kan apa yg teman ceritakan hari ni ye...teman doakan kita rakyat malaysia akan sentiasa di bawah naunganNya...semoga rezeki kita melimpah ruah...dan semoga kita tidak lupa bersyukur dgn apa saja yg kita ada! :)

Wasallam.