Monday, March 22, 2010

xx or xy??

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Tengahari tadi, waktu lunch time teman belek2 majalah2 yang ada kat bilik rehat misi2 kat hkl tu...teman ternampak satu perkataan...."khunsa".....

Khunsa...apa sebenarnya khunsa tu?masa sekolah dulu, ustaz and ustazah teman pernah menyebut khunsa ni adalah org yg mempunyai 2 alat kelamin...dan, seingat teman...khunsa ni tak boleh jadi imam, kerana sifat nalurinya yang berubah2...

Tapi, sejak teman bekeja di hospital ni, sebenarnya teman tak pernah berjumpa dgn org atau baby baru lahir yang mempunyai 2 alat kelamin....itu membuatkan teman terfikir, mungkinkah khunsa ni ada maksud tersirat yang lain??

sejak teman mendalami ilmu perubatan ni, ada 2 keadaan yang teman dah jumpa, yang mungkin memasukkan pesakit2 ni dalam kategori khunsa...

1- Ambiguus genitalia

ambiguus ni satu perkataan english yang bermaksud "kurang jelas", dan "genitalia" tu maksudnya alat kelamin le....keadaan macam ni jarang dijumpai sebenarnya, tapi sejak teman bekerja selama 5 tahun ni, ada la kot 4-5 baby yg teman jumpa ada keadaan mcm ni...baby2 tu selalunya sihat2 belaka, cumanya alat kelamin baby tu susah ditafsirkan utk nak kata lelaki atau perempuan....kesian sebenarnya tengok baby2 mcmni....kena ambik darah untuk DNA, and apabila dah dipastikan lelaki atau perempuan, kalau ibubapa berkehendak, baby tu boleh la dirujuk utk pembedahan plastic. hmmm...hukum pembedahan plastik tu jgn tanya teman ye...ya, teman tau..mesti ada yg tak setuju...teman pun tak pasti sebenarnya, perkara2 mcm ni perlulah kita rujuk kepada yg lebih arif...

2- testicular feminization syndrome (TFS)

this is a rare condition, yang mana seseorang tu dilahirkan dgn susuk tubuh badan perempuan dan alat kelaminnya pun kalau dilihat dari luar, macam perempuan.. tapi kalau dibuat scan...pesakit itu akan didapati bahawa dia tidak mempunyai ovari, rahim atau fallopian tube. faraj/ vagina selalunya ada..tetapi sempit dan tidak terbentuk dgn sempurna.
Dan, kuasa Allah yg Maha Agung, pesakit tersebut..kalau dibuat ujian DNA, keputusannya akan menjadi 'XY' yg menandakan jantina pesakit tersebut adalah lelaki sebenarnya...cuma luarannya yang menyerupai perempuan....malah kalau diperiksa betul2 di bahagian ari2 dan abdomen, mungkin akan terjumpa testes yg mengesahkan jantina pesakit tersebut.

Complicated kan????hmm...kalau berminat, silalah google perkataan testicular feminization syndrome tu...byk benda kalu belajar dlm dunia ni...samada kita je yang nak ke...tak nak...

bercakap tentang TFS ni, sejak teman bekerja selama 5 tahun, yg teman pernah jumpa dalam 3 org je sebenarnya...and i still remember vividly of my 1st experience bertemu dgn patient with TFS ni...

i was still a medical student...masa tu tgh duduk dalam klinik O&G dgn Prof Kulenthiran...one of the most respected O&G consultant in malaysia...prof ni macam atuk2 skit...best sgt belajar dgn dia...he was very dedicated to his work and at the same time one of the best teachers i ever had. haha...he was so good that he wrote a complimentary book on O&G that was selling for RM2 only...and i passed my O&G just by reading that thin and simple book.

anyway, while we were seeing patients...a very sweet chinese lady came in the room...she was dressed in a pink blouse, floral skirt..and had a clip in her hair...she looked a bit like those taiwanese movie actresses that we see nowadays, u know what i mean?

as she sat down in front of prof, i could see that she was trying to hide her anxiety behind her sweet innocent smile...,

Prof: hello dear, how are u....

Lady: im fine...thank u...

Prof: so, u were referred here from a private hospital because u never had your menses?

Lady: yes...im now 22 years old.

Prof: i see....and that got you worried...?(smiling)

Lady: Yes (with a teary smile)

Prof: We'll see what we can sort out for u...ya??(smiled again)...so, what are you doing now...?studying, working?

Lady: Im a trainee at a telecommunication company

Prof: Oh.. i see...so...u came alone today?is your mother with u?

Lady: No, she's at home

Prof: It's okay, im just wondering if your mother also had late menses, sometimes daughters tend to follow their mother's age of attaining puberty.

Lady: No...my mum got her menses when she was 13....I think my problem is something else... (and the patient looked at an envelope she was holding)

Prof: what's that big envelope that u have dear?u want to show me??

Lady: ya.....

Prof opened the big envelope....there were many CT scan films.....he didnt say anything...he just stood in front of the x ray box for a long long time....teman lagi le tak tau nak buat apa...the room was so silent and i just pretended as though i knew what i was looking for on the CT scan...one by one film was put on the box..and yet...prof was still silent....when he turned to the patient again, he asked gently...."do you have anything else u want to show me?"

the sweet lady nodded and handed him some blood results.....prof scanned the results through...and i was just standing there looking like a lamp post....

prof then asked the lady to sit down in front of him and spoke to her gently:

Prof: Has anyone told u anything about your condition dear?

Lady: A bit....but i dont understand.....(started to have tears in her eyes again...i still remember the way she was crumpling her skirt into a fist)

Prof: Right....right.....okay, im going to explain to u about your condition....and just stop me anytime if u cant get what im trying to say okay?

Lady: (Nodded....tears already streaming down her face)

Prof: Right, the reason why u still do not have menses is because u dont have ovaries and uterus...

Lady: ya...i know that...the previous doctor has already told me....but does that mean, that i can never have a baby of my own??

Prof: (nodded sadly....) yes.....that's true.....and im very sorry to be the one to tell you that............are u married dear.....?

Lady: No, my fiance' just broke up with me last week....

Prof: (Gently...)Why....because of this...??

Lady: (Nodded quitely....)

that moment was sad....very sad....even i had tears in my eyes then when i saw that lady crying helplessly....Prof then gave her some time and when she was ready...he continued to explain about TFS...about how the body did not respond to her hormones....and showed her the CT scan which revealed an absent uterus and ovaries...

but none of that prepared me for the next round of moment of truth...

With as much courage that she could muster, she turned to prof and asked...

Lady: Prof....the blood results......it showed that my DNA was XY......what does it mean....????doe it mean that i'm a.............man???

poor poor lady.....my heart reached out for her.....
and thankfully...my great professor lived up to his great reputation of being an understanding and wonderful doctor...

Prof: No!!! Not at all.....! from what i can see....u're a woman....u're a woman...through and through....u speak like a lady...u dress like a lady...and u behave like a TRUE lady.....so never ever think otherwise....because as far as im concern, u're more of a lady than many of them whom i know.....

the patient gave him a teary smile...i smiled too....i guess what prof was trying to convey to her was that....nothing could be done to change the situation...but she was whom she was...her upbringing....her appearance...her hobbies....her whole life was whom she was....and what she had achieved....and there was no need at all for her to readjust her life based on what she had just found out....

the sweet lady asked again...."can i get married, Dr?"

with much optimistism, prof answered, "Of course you can....and we'll try our best to make sure that u can have a normal sexual life.....it's just the 'children' part that u may need to adopt...if u want any....."

Lady: (Nodded again...)

the patient looked better then...things were clearer....i didnt know what was in her mind then but she did appear to be more relaxed and even more graceful when she continued the consultation with her sweet sweet smile....kudos to my very inspirational prof who managed to handle the situation wonderfully....me??nope....never been put in the spot to break such mindblowing news....setakat handle kes uncle kuat seks ada la....hehe...

so.....looking at the cases that i described above.....since gender issue was the problem, that was why i thought that these two diagnosis were some sort of tersirat meaning to the word 'khunsa'....mmm.....but my ilmu is terlalu sikit....and there is high possibility that i may be wrong....so DO NOT....i repeat...DO NOT quote me okay...it's just my own thought that im sharing in my own blog....so, konklusi pada hari ini ialah....

1- we should always seek for extra knowledge untuk melengkapkan diri kita...baik ilmu dunia...atau akhirat

2- to my juniors who aspires to be doctors....i've illustrated a good personality of how u should communicate with your patients!

and to whoever who has further knowledge on this issue, kindly share or even do me a favour by correcting me ya....!

wasallam.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

kedai makan penipu

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

Assalamualaikum wbt.

haa...kan teman dah kata...teman mesti dtg melawat punya....hehe....nanti teman bagi kamu mandi ye...busuk bebenor le kambing teman ni...setahun tak mandi...

hari ni teman nak cerita pasal kedai makan penipu...selalunya kalu dalam paper or berita, deme sorok2 kan...haaa...sini takdak sorok2 punya...hehe...ini cerita benar...nama kedai tu- chicken rice shop...dekat tesco cheras....haaa...siap nama tempat lagi teman bagi....

Alkisahnya, teman teringin bebenor le nak makan nasi ayam....terbayang2 rupa nasi kekuningan yg berasap2, dgn ayam goreng yang garing di luar, lembut di dalam...dgn kicap cair dan sup yg panas dan menyelerakan...fuhhhh......sedapnya.....

setakat teman hidup selama 29 tahun ni kan..teman pernah rasa 4 nasi ayam terbaik yg teman boleh terbayang lagi rasanya:

1- nasi ayam power (skrg ni dipanggil nasi ayam 'kulaan' kalu tak silap)- yg terletak di tmn selat, butterworth, sebelah bank persatuan....sampai sekarang ada lagi tau...rasanya...perggghhh...mmg power aaahhh...

2- nasi ayam hainan, restoran puteri hang li poh- yg ni kedai cina muslim dkt depan bank rakyat, kulim....serius sedap...ayam tu dikukus...siap ada sos halia lagi...chinese style...mmg best!

3- nasi ayam R+R tapah- yg ni dekat R+R plus highway dari arah utara ke selatan...nasi ayam yg ni simple je...tapi ntah le...kicap dia...sos dia...tak bleh nak tiru...mmg sedap

4- nasi ayam no.10, persiaran bertam 6, PGR- hehe....yg ni favourite teman sejak kecik...nasi ayam mak teman....sedap oooo....ayam di'marinate' dgn kicap pekat, digoreng sampai garing....makan dgn sup kaki ayam...huiyoo..raqib baca ni mesti meliuq ni...hehe....boleh bukak kedai la mak...i dah promote ni....buat apa keja lama2 dgn guan eng tu...hehehehehehhe....

Alamak...melalut le plak...teman nak cerita pasal kedai penipu ni....okeh..okeh...

so, dipendekkan cerita, teman masuk le kat kedai makan tu....terus belek menu...
belek punya belek...teman cari yg ada set meal yg mengandungi nasi+ayam+sup+taugeh..
tapi sebab skrg ni deme tengah buat promo nasi ayam dgn sos hijau pelik apa ntah..set meal yg mcm teman idamkan tu takdak dalam menu....

so, teman pun order la ala-carte.....nasi ayam asing, taugeh asing, air asing...

bila makanan sampai, teman makan dgn begitu asyik tanpa menghiraukan keadaan sekeliling..hehe..teruk benor bunyi nye...
tetiba, sedang teman asyik menghirup sup yg tak boleh lawan sup 'kaki ayam' mak teman, teman ternampak sebuah poster terperuk di ceruk kedai makan tu...

"STRETCH YOUR RINGGIT"

'Save more...'(apa ntah teman tak ingat)

Savers Combo Deal:
- 1 set of chicken rice (braised, steamed, roasted or honey BBQ)
- soup of the day
- 1 set of Ipoh taugeh

"Now at only RM 7.50! " (normal is RM13.00)

hah?really...??teman tengok kat meja teman...benda2 yg teman tengah makan ni sebijik dengan benda2 kat dlm poster tu.....hmmm...tapi...kenapa waiter yg ambik order tu tak bagitau apa2 dgn teman???furthermore....kenapa poster yg sama tak diletakkan dlm menu or at least on the table??in fact bila teman tengok sekeliling cuma ada satu je poster tu...and as i said, it was terperuk di ceruk of the restaurant ok....

hmm...takpelah...satlg masa bayar, teman tanya elok2, mana la tau boleh bayar harga savers deal tu..after all, i ate the same things stated on the poster...

so, bila dah abih makan, teman pun approach ke kaunter..

belum sempat teman nak kata apa2, cashier tu terus bagi teman bill....efficient gile deme ni, print bill siap2.....
teman tengok harga kat bill tu- RM 17.50 (inclusive tax + drinks)

teman pun tanya elok2 kat cashier tu...

teman: ermm, tumpang tanya, kalau saya nak bayar harga savers deal tu boleh? (sambil menunjukkan poster yg terperuk di ceruk tu)

cashier: hah?...ooo..tak boleh kak....sbb tadi akak order ala- carte...lagi pun, bill dah print, susah dah nak tukar...

teman: oh??? tapi saya makan benda yg sama mcm dlm poster tu....lagi pun, masa saya order tadi, waiter yg ambik order tu tak pulak bagitau apa2.....

cashier: (sambil tergelak) Oh...tapi kitaorg memang tak suggest apa2 kak...ikut nasib la! kalau customer nampak poster tu, diorg order, kalau tak nampak.tak boleh buat apa la.....

HAH?????

HAH?????


Mendidih tak??? Mendidih tak??? siapa tak mendidih macam ni...?teman elok2 tanya siap senyum2 lagi..cashier tu boleh cakap macam tu....kena ikut nasib pulak....mmg nak kena le cik kak sorang ni.....

teman: Eh...tapi tak adil la mcm tu dik...kalau u all letak poster tu dlm menu ke, atas meja ke takpe lah jugak...ini u all letak poster tu terperuk dkt ceruk tu...mana org nak nampak???...

cashier: err....saya tak tau kak

teman: u all letak poster tu, nak bagi org ramai dtg kan? haa...dah tu, bila org dtg..u all tak nak bagi org nampak poster tu pulak...

cashier: errmm...kejap kak...saya panggil manager

hmmmmpphh....pastu dia pun pegi le ke belakang bercerita dgn manager dia...kumat kamit- kumat kamit, pastu manager dia pun dtg...swipe balik machine tu, print kan bill baru...sikit pun tak tengok muka teman...hmmphh...tunjuk protes la tu....ntahapahapa...ni la dia bisnes merapu...customer comes first konon...

so, teman pun dapat le bayar harga savers deal yg RM7.50 tu....

masa cashier tu bagi duit balance kat teman, dia boleh plak kata:

cashier: ermm..sebenarnya kak, portion taugeh dlm savers deal tu sikit je..kalau dlm ala- carte tu portion dia lebih sikit...sbb tu harga dia lain...

teman: oh..?taugeh lebih sikit boleh sbbkan harga jadi 2 kali ganda ?? (sambil menggelengkan kepala)...lain kali tulis terang2 dlm poster tu tau....'taugeh dlm kombo savers deal ni kurang skit drp biasa'...baru org tau....

huh...malas teman nak bergaduh lagi....terus teman blah drp kedai penipu tu...itu lah dia, apabila bisnes berteraskan keuntungan semata2 tanpa ada niat utk beribadah...

pengajarannya...kalau kita nak buat bisnes, sentiasa ingat hukum halal atau haram duit tu...iblis dan syaitan sentiasa akan menunjukkan jalan mudah untuk mendatangkan keuntungan....tapi kita jua yg mempunyai kuasa untuk memilih jalan mana yg harus kita lalui.....

Wallahua'lam.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

a very angry toilet

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wbt.

pekabar encik kambing...ampun ye teman lama tak menjenguk...opah teman sakit tenat...hampir sebulan teman hidup tak tentu arah...kejap kat cheras...kejap kat gombak...kejap kat sepital....Alhamdulillah, opah baru je keluar sepital hampir seminggu lepas...so, teman skrg ni byk berada di rumah opah, saja nak bagi semangat skit...doakan opah teman cepat sembuh ye...


anyway..hari ni teman cuma nak letak satu notice yg teman terjumpa dlm sebuah toilet dkt sebuah hospital swasta...hehe...garang gile toilet nih...



Enjoy!

Wasallam.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

teksi..oh..teksi

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wbt.

waaa...lamanya teman tak jenguk kambing teman..sampai sumi san pun complain...sori ye...bukan taknak..kekadang tu bila ada je benda yg mencuit hati teman, mesti teman pikir,"hmm..boleh share dlm blog nih"...tapi selalunya tak sempat...balik umah je, dah penat...kena study..etc...

tapi hari ni teman kena cerita..pendek pun takpe lah...hehe...janji lepas steam menaip skit...

Ceritanya cerita minggu lepas, teman nak keluar dari HKL, nak pegi ke HUKM...sesampainya di tempat parking kereta...teman ternampak ada sebuah teksi merah parking betul2 kat depan kereta 'bumble bee' teman...aishh....kena tolak teksi la plak tengah2 hari rembang ni....(dah menjadi lumrah kat parking2 hospital ni utk double park...janji jgn angkat hand break...so kereta kita boleh ditolak2 ke sana ke mari utk memudahkan kereta lain keluar dari parking lot)

so, teman dgn sedaya upayanya menolak teksi tersebut...tetiba......waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!laju la plak teksi tu bergerak....agaknya ada 'slope' sikit kat kawasan tu...menyebabkan teksi tu bergerak dgn laju ke hadapan......

waaaaaaaaaaa!!mcmmana nak bagi teksi ni berhenti ni.....dah la tu dalam 30 meter di hadapan ada sebuah honda civic kepala dongga tak reti nak parking, bonet depan dia terjojoi ke depan...gerenti kena hentam dgn teksi nih kalau tak diberhentikan.....

teman panic gila....!berlari teman mengejar teksi tu mcm org gila....bayangkan teman dgn baju kurung, white coat, beg pink bergalas, stetoskop di tengkuk mengejar teksi di waktu tengah2 hari rembang...teman cuba tahan teksi tu dgn tangan kanan teman...tapi momentum teksi tu kuat sgt...huwaaaaaaaaaaaa...

dah tu teman pun jadi bertambah panic....kereta honda makin dekat di depan mata...dah tu...apa lagi....teman pun menjerit la meminta tolong..."Tolong!!!!tolong!!!!!!!!"

har har...gila ka apa dr sorang ni.....

tapi Alhamdulillah....nak dijadikan cerita, ada sorang lelaki melayu yg mendengar pekikan teman terus dia berlari ke arah teman...bila dia sampai muka dia cam konpius skit...dan dia cam teragak2 taktau nak buat apa.....teman pun dalam keadan tercungap2 berlari tu menjerit pada laki tu...."encik......!!!tolong saya berhentikan teksi ni......!!!!"

lepastu baru le dia tolong....dengan sekuat tenaga mcm incredible hulk dia memberhentikan teksi tu......fuh!menitik peluh kat dahi teman........Alhamdulillah teksi tu dapat diberhentikan sejauh lebih kurang 5 meter daripada honda kepala dongga tu...

bila teman ucap terima kasih...laki tu berkata "Hehe...sorry la saya teragak2 tadi....saya ingatkan teksi tu ada pemandu, lepastu pemandu teksi tu culik kawan awak ke...apa ke......tu yg saya tak tau nak buat apa tu"

ewah...ewah...tinggi pulak imaginasi abang tu ye.....Apa pun terima kasih le banyak2 sudi menolong teman...kalu idak berapa ribu le pulak nak membayor tuan kepala dongga tu...

teksi....teksi.....berpeluh ketiak teman mengejor kamu....lain kali...agak2 kamu dah bergerak laju sgt tu, kamu brek le sendiri ye......

hehe.....sekian sudah cerita teman pada hari yg mulia ini.

wasalam.

Monday, January 11, 2010

sex is in the air

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wbt.

waaaaa....teruja tak dgn tajuk di atas...hehe....lebai pakai serban pun boleh teruja kan...hehe..teman teringat kata2 ustaz yg bagi ceramah masa kursus perkahwinan teman...beliau selalu kata..."ingat, ustaz bukan malaikat"...hehe...

anyway...hari ni teman dah letih bercakap pasal benda yg sama.....sampai otak teman pun naik kuning.....down here i'll just relate some of the snippets of what happened to me today kay...tak boleh cerita byk2...sikit2 je ye...hehehehe....

Episod 1

bayangkan, teman tengah mengantuk2 menengok patient2 yg berlambak2...semua dgn penyakit lebih kurang sama aje...kejap2 kencing manis...kejap2 darah tinggi...sampai teman pun dah nak termuntah asyik menulis nama ubat yg sama dkt prescription....

episod pertama berkisarkan sorang uncle cina 50-an yg juga mempunyai penyakit darah tinggi n kencing manis mcm pesakit2 lain jugak...teman dah nak abih tengok dia pun, dah siap tulis ubat...tinggal nak ambik appointment untuk masa akan dtg je, yg tetiba teman secara 'polite' bertanya:

teman: okay uncle, ada apa2 lagi ke?

uncle: ya....ada la dr...saya seks banyak kuat...apa mcm mau buat ha?

teman: (TERUS TERJAGA!) HAH??APA UNCLE??

(suasana terhenti sebentar di dalam bilik teman...specialist kat depan meja teman dah mengekek terhenjut2 bahunya...misi teman dah senyum2....semua buat2 mcm ada keje masing2...tapi telinga semua pasang mcm serombong je nak dengar teman kata apa kat uncle nih....aduhhhhhhh....kenapa la aku yg ditakdirkan utk menengok uncle nihhh.............)

uncle: saya seks banyak kuat...ada ubat ka kasi kurang sikit?

teman: (telan air liur)...ooooo.....mcmmana kuat uncle....?

uncle: aiyooo...satu hari paling kurang 3 kali oooo....saya bini ada 4...semua sudah menopause....aiyaa...byk susah ooo....

teman: ummm....oooo......itu mcm ka uncle....(telan lagi)

uncle: ya la...sekarang mau cari girlfriend ooo...itu bini 4 org sudah tak larat sama saya...

teman: (mula nak tergelak ni...)uncle...ini ramai2 org tak bagus la...nanti boleh kena HIV

uncle: ooo...itu mcm ka....

teman: ya, uncle ada ambik apa2 pil ka, atau selalu mkn chocolate ka...atau itu siput2??

uncle: haiyaa....ini tak payah apa2 siput oooooooo....!

teman: (tarik nafas....huh........nak kata apa lagi ni....hehehe...)ooooo....kalau itu mcm, uncle kena try cari hobi baru la....baru uncle boleh fikir pasal benda lain

uncle: hobi aaa?apa mcm?

teman: mcm main sukan ka...jogging ka...naik basikal ka...exercise apa2 la uncle....bila badan sudah letih, bila uncle balik rumah, boleh terus tidur kan...

uncle: haiyaa!!tapi bila bangun pagi...lagi kuat oooo!!!apa macam?????

teman: (huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!mintak nyawa!!!!!!mintak nyawa!!!!!)

hehe....specialist teman dah terketar2 menahan gelak menengok teman berpeluh2....kureng betul!teman pun terus rujuk dia pada specialist teman tu...hehe...padan muka dia...gelak kat teman sgt....ntah apa dia kelentong uncle tu, lepas setengah jam baru settle....hehehe...

Episod 2

tak lama lepas uncle tu keluar, sorang akak umur dlm 40-an masuk bilik teman dengan suaminya...akak ni badan dia kecik aje, tapi disebabkan dia pakai baju ketat...terserlah le aset-asetnya......dia ada penyakit asma...tapi very poor control...bila tanya betul2..rupa2nya asma dia teruk sbb dia jarang guna ubat pam tu and teknik dia menggunakan pam tu pun salah...

pesakit: dr, akak rasa asma akak ni susah nak baik la...

teman: haa...akak tau tak sebab apa asma akak ni susah nak baik?

pesakit: tau...akak rasa sebab dada akak ni 'berat' sangat la...sebab tu susah nak baik asma ni....

teman: HAH??hehehehehe....akak rasa asma akak ni sebab 'barangan' akak ke?

pesakit: ye lah dr...nak jalan pun kekadang semput...

teman: akak....akak punya asma ni susah nak baik sbb akak jarang guna pam tu, lagi pun akak patutnya sembur pam tu dlm mulut...bukannya buat mcm perfume tu...

pesakit: ooooo ye ke dr.....hehehehhehe.....laaa...akak mati2 ingat pasal lain

teman: hehe...akak, Tuhan dah jadikan kita ni sempurna kak...semua org patut mampu bawak barangan sendiri....takkan nak tinggal2 pulak kan....hehe

suami pesakit: tu la awak...saya dah cakap dah...takkan la sebab itu asma awak tak baik- baik

hehe...tergelak teman...mcm2 karenah pesakit2 ni....tak kering gusi teman duduk dlm klinik tu.....


Episod 3

lepas dah abis sesi klinik, teman naik atas ke wad....menengokkan kalau ada patient2 yg teman boleh discharge pulang ke rumah...

Ada sorang pakcik ni, masuk wad dlm 4 hari lepas utk penyakit gastrik....asalnya pakcik ni dari rumah org tua2 di Melaka...dia dtg ke kl ni utk cari rumah org2 tua yg baru...tapi tetiba dpt sakit gastrik, terus kena masuk wad...so kiranya dia takde rumah la sekarang ni....

teman: pakcik, mcmmana sakit perut?dah okay ke?

pakcik: dah okay dr...

teman: saya rasa pakcik dah boleh balik hari ni....pakcik nak pergi ke rumah org tua2 dekat mana ye dekat kl ni?

pakcik: ish..saya tak tau la...dr kena tanya org dekat rumah org2 tua di melaka tu....mereka tu tau le saya sepatutnya pegi ke rumah org2 tua yg mana dekat kl ni...

teman: okay, nanti kami cuba telefon...apa nama rumah org2 tua kat melaka tu pakcik?

pakcik: Rumah Orang-orang Tua Jima'

teman: HAH???!!!!!!!!!!!!!hah?????rumah org2 tua apa pakcik??? (haisy...kepala otak aku ni dah biol dgn benda2 18SX ni ke??)

pakcik: Rumah Orang- orang Tua Jima'!!! (lagi kuat pakcik tu menjerit sampai teman pun jadi malu)

hah???wujud ke rumah org2 tua jima' ni???huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....teman pun tak tau la mcmmana nak tanya kat operator telekom nak minta nombor Rumah Org2 Tua Jima' nih.....karang kalu tak wujud, malu je kat org telekom tu...teman nak sebut nama rumah org2 tua ni pun teman tak sanggup....mesti diorang ingat teman ni gila seks ke apa mintak nombor telefon mcm tu???huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...mcm mana ni....mcm mana ni........

tengah teman terkial2 dekat talipon tu, tetiba bos teman dtg....dia suruh teman simpan pakcik tu dlm wad dulu sbb nak guna sbg exam subject utk student esok...hehehe....fuhhhhh....selamat......selamat teman daripada dipandang serong eh silap...didengar serong oleh operator telekom......hehehehe...

bila teman balik rumah malam tadi, teman cerita la pasal Rumah Orang2 Tua Jima' ni pada kakak n abg ipar teman...

tetiba abg ipar teman berkata 'Rumah Org2 Tua Jimah la!! Jimah tu nama tempat kat Melaka!!hahahahahahahhahaha!!!'

KAH KAH KAH KAH KAH KAH KAH!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

malunyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa teman!!!!!

sah dah otak teman yang kuning........

kui kui kui....

wasallam.

Friday, January 8, 2010

cik atau puan??

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Semalam teman tolong run clinic pakar perubatan di HKL....
ramainya patient..Tuhan aje yg tau...ramainya org ada kencing manis, darah tinggi and high cholesterol nih....it's becoming a trend of life zaman skrg....sedentary lifestyle, unhealthy diet, minimal exercise, too much stress, smoking.....all these factors contribute to penyakit 3 serangkai ni yg pada akhirnya results in heart attack....so, anyone yg nak elakkan penyakit2 di atas....please avoid those factors...it's time to move it...move it...

so anyway, dalam ramai2 patient ni, teman panggil masuk sorang pompuan muda...lebih kurang 24 tahun...

teman: Assalamualaikum... Minah (bukan nama sebenar) ye? sila duduk....

minah: W'salam...terima kasih

teman: saya nak panggil cik minah ke..puan minah ni??

minah: mana- mana pun boleh la dr....

teman: eh..mana boleh mcm tu....kalau dah jadi puan, mana boleh patah balik....hehehehehehe!!

minah: uh...saya ni baru jadi janda dr....dr panggil la apa pun (dengan nada sedih...dia tak tengok teman pun...tengok bawah je)

teman: (Alamak! janda la pulak....! bodohnya aku...member tgh sedih, aku siap buat melawak lagi...kuang kuang....)......Oh??.....er......err.....okay....sorry....saya tak tau.....mmm.....apa saya boleh bantu hari ni.....?


haha...standard la teman...bila dah jadi awkward moment mcmtu, selalu cepat2 tukar topik lain...hmm....so, ingat tau...kalau org kata boleh panggil apa pun...panggil la apa pun...jgn nak buat lawak bodoh mcm teman....haha...

by the way, teman pun confuse la, kalu dah jadi janda, jadi 'cik' balik ke, atau maintain dgn 'puan'????

wasallam.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

enjin sakti

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wbt.
ampun kambingku, teman lama tak menjenguk...seminggu teman cuti haritu, merantau di semenanjung tanah air...seperti biasa, acara tahunan teman n sumi san...meng'interview' bebudak lepasan spm untuk diserap masuk ke program kepimpinan yayasan tun razak..

buat yg tak tau, di program alumni yayasan ni lah teman jumpa suami teman...and akhir2 ni, teman and sumi san diminta untuk membantu pihak yayasan membuat pemilihan budak2 ni...

kriteria pemilihan: tak susah pun...asal ada ciri2 kepimpinan dan berkehendak utk memimpin dah cukup bagus...

selalunya, sekolah2 dlm sebuah negeri akan menghantar 2 org calon...dan dari situ kami pun menanyakan soalan2 berkitar sejarah negara, tun razak, isu semasa, ideologi politik bla bla bla...we tend to use both bahasa melayu and english...selalunya bila dilontarkan soalan dalam melayu, expected utk dijawab dlm bahasa melayu...vice-versa for english

dalam banyak2 budak2 yg bercakap banyak tak berhenti2 tu...ada sorang budak melayu daripada salah sebuah sekolah termasyhur di ipoh..yg dengan selambanya masuk ke dalam bilik interview dgn cara berjalan yg sambil lewa...

tak bagi salam...tak cakap selamat pagi...dia duduk aje kat kerusi depan kami tu, siap bersandar mcm bos lagi....dalam hati teman waktu tu....ape hal budak ni...terrer sgt kot...berlagak semacam je....

teman ingat lagi..waktu tu dia pakai baju kemeja hitam....tapi ada satu riben merah kat kolar sebelah kiri dia...teman ingat oooo...agaknya dia sokong anti-HIV punya kempen...bagus jugak budak nih...

sebelah dia waktu tu ada sorang budak perempuan cina dari sekolah cina di ipoh...saja kami panggil 2 org masuk ke dlm bilik interview utk create suasana lebih competitive.

so..seperti biasa lepas setiausaha yayasan tun razak, si tengku tu meng'introduce' kami semua, sumi san pun mula lah dgn soalan2 simplenya...

sumi san: Okay, please introduce yourself... (sambil melihat budak lelaki tu)
budak tu: hah? saya?
sumi san: ye...awak...tolong perkenalkan diri....
budak tu: (terlopong) errmm...i honestly dont know what to say.....

teman: (dalam hati....ni ape hal yang honest sgt ni....)

sumi san: ummm...okay..if u dont know what to say, u can start explaining about the ribbon on your collar...

budak tu: ah????!!! (terkejut sambil melihat ke kolar nya)...eh...eh....ni...ni...riben pakai masa jamuan sekolah hari tu....la...lupa nak tanggal la.....

teman: (dalam hati........hah????!!datang interview pakai baju bulan lepas ke dik???tak tengok cermin ke pagi tadi???)

sumi san: oh??baju tu dah basuh belum???

budak tu: errmm....dah...dah....rasa saya dah basuh kot.....

sumi san menjeling teman...seolah2 memberi telepathy menyatakan...'whatever la'.....hehe
so, kami teruskan dgn menyuruh budak cina sebelah tu mengintroduce dirinya....
and as usual and as expected, budak cina tu pun dengan derasnya memulakan proses pengenalan dirinya bagaikan keretapi ekspres yg kematian brek...she went on and on about her achievements in school, this competition, that competition, sports....

at one point, she said something about representing her school in a students meet where she met students from saudi arabia la, columbia la....

and that malay boy terlopong ternganga tengok dia....teman masa tu tgh tengok budak melayu tu, and bila dia perasan yg teman tgh tengok wajah terlopong dia, dia pun tergelak...

then we proceeded to other things....cita-cita la...isu2 semasa yg simple2....again and again we tried to dig out something from the boy...but he remained with that 'couldnt care less' attitude...

finally...teman rasa buang masa kalau kami teruskan dgn benda2 ilmiah yg mungkin agak heavy untuk dia, so teman decided to ask a creative question instead....

teman: okay lah dik, bayangkan kalu adik ada tongkat sakti dalam tangan adik sekarang..what is the thing that you would like to make it appear on the table in front of you, right now...in this very room?

teman pernah tanya soalan ni pada budak2 sebelum ni....selalunya, jawapan budak2 would be a glass of water- to calm themselves down, or ada sorang budak tu dia nak bantal busuk dia..so that dia rasa comfort sikit....

kami semua pun waktu tu dengan penuh pengharapan menengok budak tu...nak bagi jawapan apa la agaknya.....

budak tu tetiba bertanya,"dalam bilik ni? sekarang???'

teman: ye...sekarang!

budak tu senyap kejap...berfikir penuh konsentrasi...

kami menanti dgn penuh debaran.....

dan dia menjawab,"ENJIN!"

HAH?????!!!!!!!APE HAL PLAK ENJIN NIH.....?????

tapi sumi san seperti biasa...dgn calm and coolnya..bertanya..."okay, boleh explain pada kami kenapa awak nak enjin muncul dlm bilik interview ni...sekarang....?"

budak tu dgn muka puasnya menjawab ,".....supaya saya boleh belajar dan repair enjin tu la..."

teman masa tu rasa mcm dah nak pecah kepala..."tapi mcmmana enjin awak tu boleh membantu awak dlm interview ni????"

budak tu: ooooo....ye tak ye jugak....kalau mcm tu saya nak cikgu saya muncul di sini lah....

teman: untuk apa?

budak tu: untuk tolong saya jawab soalan

teman: awak ke...cikgu awak yg nak pegi kursus ni?

budak tu: (dengan innocentnya berkata) dua-dua boleh tak.....

HUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!nak menangis teman...apa dah jadi dgn anak2 melayu kita ni....and teman tak tipu budak tu dtg dari salah sebuah sekolah termasyhur di malaysia....and budak tu dihantar dari sekolah sbb dia pelajar kedua terbaik di sekolah tu....

it's time to buck up friends....this story is not just for a laugh...and neither it is to insult mana2 pihak...but to open our eyes on what is happening around us....this is about our children that we are talking about..is it because of too much of luxuries that the younger generation is missing the drive that our parents and grandparents used to have....

or is it us...??who have spoilt them too much????

time to think.and act.fast.

wasallam.